Think About it Thursday: Prioritize the TO-DO list

I’m a youth pastor and my wife is a school teacher.  One thing that we have both learned in our professions, is that there is always more to do.   Since the end goal of both of our jobs is never really finished, the task list is never really done.

Maybe you can relate.  Do you feel like you never fully get the job done.  So, what to do?  Should we lower our standard of excellence?  But, how do you know when the job is complete when there is always more to do?

This has been an on-going learning process for my wife and me.  We both value to do well at our job, but don’t want to lose sight of everything else…like family.

I recently read an article that I found helpful.  If you’re like me, maybe it will help you too.

Chris Parker, a youth pastor in Austin, Texas added a post about the book “Getting Things Done”.  He posted 3 helpful statements and a chart (I like charts).  I look forward to working these into my life.  I challenge you to check out his post here.

When evaluating a task, think:

1. If it takes 2 minutes, just do it!
2. If someone can help, delegate it.
3. If none of the above, put it on the calendar.

11/27 – Quote of the Day

“If life were stable, I’d never need God’s help.”
― Francis Chan, Crazy Love

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Think About it Thursday: How to Lead a More Balanced Life

Typically when I see a title that includes the words “balanced life” I role my eyes a little.  It’s a catch phrase that gets over and miss used.  But, when I came across this post I couldn’t resist.  Todd Stocker uses the phrase correctly, makes some great points, and even uses a helpful illustration about balance.  Check out this exert from his post:

My backside aches this morning. Forty miles of riding a bike with a well worn seat will do that to you. But this pain is nothing compared to what almost happened yesterday.

As Kellie and I ventured through the countryside on our twenty-one speeds, we experienced a pain that many people experience in their own personal lives and don’t even know it. Here’s what happened and how it relates to you….continue reading

He goes on to tell how looking to much at the past can get you off balance and lead to disaster.  He gives three suggestions: “Glance at the past. Work in the present. Focus on the future.”  This is so important and connects well with my Quote from Tuesday.  Too often when focus on one at the neglect of the others.

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11/20 – Quote of the Day

“You’re born. You suffer. You die. Fortunately, there’s a loophole.” – Billy Graham

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Think About it Thursday: How to Get Students to Serve

Students must learn “that serving isn’t boring and it isn’t a chore. Since they were designed for it, serving is something that they will find joy in!”

What a powerful and transforming thought!  When I first saw this it made me go “du” and “wow” all at the same time.  Of course we are made to serve.  And, of course it isn’t boring.  But, do we as leaders of youth ever take time to share this with students?

You must read the rest of this article.  It was posted by Colton Harker on Justin Knowles blog (youth pastor at Saddleback).  Check it out here.

Still not convinced?  Here is another exert from his article:

 It is impossible to get students to serve if you, as their leader, don’t believe in them. We need to believe that, through the Lord, students can change the world….In today’s society, people have such low expectations of what a high schooler is capable of, and that mentality has rubbed off on them. They hold themselves back from making an impact because they don’t believe they can.

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Handling Anger

Anger happens when what we expect doesn’t happen.  We plan on things working one way, but they don’t.  Your greeting is returned with a scowl.  Your friend treats you unfairly.  The check-out girl takes too long.  Whatever it is, you don’t get what you expect and you get angry.

Nothing is wrong with anger.  It’s an emotion.  It’s what we do with our anger that can either build community or push people away.

There are three bad ways that we handle our anger.  Most of us do all three at some point.  But, we all have one that comes natural to us.  We either burst, nurse, or rehearse our anger.

Burst – When you get angry, you blow up at people.  You find yourself saying and doing things that you later regret.  People learn not to get too close.  They know that being close to you will hurt.  The truth is, you may like people not being too close.  But, in the end the lack of community hurts you more than the people you explode your anger onto.

Nurse – You may not say or do anything when you first get angry.  But, after the event – when the offender isn’t around – everyone gets to hear what they did to you.  You nurse your wound until it grows.  Like a cancer it will eventually destroy you from the inside.

Rehearse – You have the danger of seeming the most spiritual of everyone else.  You don’t blow up and you don’t gossip.  But, you may just be the angriest of all.  When someone does you wrong, it is seared into your memory.  And, like a bad pop song, it plays over and over.  You eventually grow more bitter and push people away.

To quote a true American hero – “knowing is half the battle”.  So, what do we do about it?  First, figure out what you are.  Not sure?  Ask a friend.  Chances are other people are more aware of how you handle anger than you are.  Still not sure?  You probably rehearse your anger.  You’ve just gotten good at not showing it.  Second, learn to identify when you are starting to burst, nurse, or rehearse.  From there, try these tips.

Burst – Shut up.  No really.  The biggest challenge for you is holding your tongue.  I’ve known people to literally bite their tongues or put their hands over their mouths.  Whatever it takes, don’t go with your initial reaction when you get mad.

Nurse – Venting is telling one person what happened, so that you are able to better deal with a situation.  Beyond that, you are nursing. So, write it down.  Put down everything – every action and every feeling.  And then, destroy the note.  You need to get it out, but not to the expense of others.

Rehearse – You will have to forgive over and over.  Make the choice to forgive NOW.  And, every time that you are reminded of the anger, remind yourself that you have chosen to let go of what that person has done.

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11/13 – Quote of the Day

“Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.” – C. S. Lewis

Matthew 6:31 ESV

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

Matthew 6:33-34 ESV

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Read the whole chapter (Matthew 6)

Lewis captured the heart of Matthew 6.  When we strive after what’s in front of us – food, clothing, house, toys, etc – we are never satisfied with what we have and we miss out on what God is doing.  But, when we strive to be a part of what God is doing, He grows us to be content with what we have.

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11/6 – Quote of the Day

Jesus gathers His 12 disciples.  This is His team.  The ones He will train to change the world.  To prepare them for their three years of training, this is what He tells them.

Matthew 10:17-18 ESVBeware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles.

Matthew 10:21-22 ESVBrother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

Read the whole chapter (Matthew 10)

David Platt, rocked my world with these words about Matthew 10.

“This is the unavoidable conclusion of Matthew 10. To everyone wanting a safe, untroubled, comfortable life free from danger, stay away from Jesus.” ― David Platt, Radical

In verse 24 Jesus goes on to tell that a disciple is not above the teacher.  If the world killed Jesus, we shouldn’t expect our life to comfortable.  What does this have to do whit student ministry?  In an effort to protect students from trouble, discomfort, and danger we sometimes actually protecting them from Jesus! 

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Finding Friends

It can me hard finding friends…if you haven’t seen them sense the 90’s

Our youth ministry is finishing up a series called “WE”.  The whole concept is that we need other people and we need true community.  In preparing for the sereis, I ran across the following article from Carey Nieuwhof, a pastor in Canada. It’s a very candid confession, and one that may reflect your story at some point in your life.

FIND A FRIEND

By Carey Nieuwhof

By default over the years, I have been a pretty private person. I handle most things pretty tightly. I don’t have a lot of people who are close to me, but those who are close to me are people I trust implicitly and establish a deep loyalty to.

When I was going through a tough season a few years ago, I went to see some Christian counselors, and their helpful message was simply this—I couldn’t go through this alone. Everything inside me said, “Yes, I can,” but I realized they were right. I couldn’t do it alone.

I remember the night I shared what I was going through with my community group at the time. I’m sure my pride had kept me from talking about it before. Plus, I had earlier been convinced I would just wake up out of this at some point and it would go away. I didn’t need to tell anyone. Clearly, that strategy was failing. So I talked to our community group through some tears one night. The love, prayer, empathy and compassion that poured forth was huge. I was humbled and blown away.

Toni, my wife, continues to show an unbelievable kindness. And I have a handful of close friends near and far (some live a long way away), some colleagues and some staffers who tracked with me through this season. I am so grateful for them.

Friendship is still not easy for me. I am really quite private at my core. In this networked world, I know thousands of people by name, but if people get too close, I can still push away. I’m working on that. God’s working on that. There has been some big progress on that, I think.

But what I want to say is that I have come to realize that you can’t do it alone. We are social beings. We are meant to be together.

I am always surprised that when I sit down with someone to talk through a life situation they are going through, and I ask them “Who else do you talk to this about?”, the #1 answer is “No one,” That breaks my heart.

If you’re going through a hard time, find a friend. Talk to them. Pray with them. For me, it was hard, but life giving, to include a handful of people in a circle. It was life giving to see a group of people in my community group care deeply. We can’t do this alone—and we were never meant to do it that way.

© 2010 Orange. All rights reserved.

 

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Puppies and Parents

I once heard Reggie Joiner describe parenting in terms of having a puppy or a cat. Parenting an elementary child is like having a puppy: he’s cute, cuddly, and loves you unconditionally. He comes when you call, is always happy to see you, and if you get mad and yell – he forgives you without question. But, one day in middle school your puppy becomes a cat. When you reach out your hand, he hisses and gives you a dirty look. You call and call and he’s nowhere to be found. Yet, he magically appears when you put out food. If you play your cards just right, he will cuddle up to you when you least expect it.

Many frustrations that parents face aren’t because they’re bad at parenting. It’s not because they have bad kids.  They just haven’t realized that their puppy is now a cat. By design, adolescents are different from younger children. It is these differences that change them into adults. And, these differences can frustrate parents.

Remember this is normal: Adolescence is the time when a child grows into an adult. This is a good thing.What to do:

• Don’t disengage: A normal reaction is for parents to step back – to feel that their child needs them less. This process can also be difficult for adolescents. They need you now more than ever.
• Always be ready: As students begin processing more difficult issues, teachable moments will appear. The wise parent needs to be attentive and observant, ready to take advantage of teachable moments when they arise.

 

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